You never talk to me, or my friends, or anyone. You just hang out with your idiots and harass your sister. I just wanted a boy I was comfortable saying hi to. I wanted it to be you, but I now I know you just don’t like me.”“What?” I couldn’t follow. Didn’t parse the center of that. Did she like me? Did she want to be my girlfriend? I don’t think so. She somehow divorced liking me from being attracted to me. I wanted to inflate my ego. I had just made love to this girl. I had sex with her at least. I felt love now. Not really for her, just for the universe and all the happiness anyone could ever find.“Why? What did I do?” She chewed her lip.“I always thought you were snobbish and stuck up.” I didn’t want to be that honest. I really just wanted to tell her she was wrong. I should’ve stopped talking. “You always have to answer a question in such a way that even the fucking dumbest rubberhead anchors in our classes don’t feel left out. You ask questions not for your own curiosity but to. .. yet. That was the big issue, wasn't it? Would she ever fall in love with Simon or would he be a pleasant diversion or even an intimate friend? She didn't want another relationship like she had with Wade. It was too hard on her. Better to break it off if there was no hope. Keep looking for another Pete? Probably not possible but she couldn't see herself settling for something less.She didn't want another Pete. She didn't want to be comparing two different men to each other, one a phantom memory, the other his live competitor. She couldn't live with that either. She was just going to have to wait and let time pass. She knew her perspective would always be better if she gave it some time to see how she really felt.A flight delay at Heathrow caused her to miss her connection in New York. She stayed overnight at a hotel near Kennedy as a guest of the airline, the privileges of first class once more. She phoned her parents and told them she would be home Saturday afternoon and would see.
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